WHAM!

Attention all parents of toddler boys...there is a key piece of information missing in the all of the potty training books I've ever read...there should be a section placed under "Potty Training Safety" that reminds us that children are short...and when little boys bend over to pull up their pants, they should back up from the bowl...or risk hitting their forehead on the rim of the toilet!!!

My 3 year old nearly knocked himself out the other day...WHAM! I was stunned and incredulous that something like that had just happened! Thank God it didn't leave a curved bowl mark on his head! I then proceeded to wash his forehead off like a mad-germophobic woman...EEEEW! Also thankful that it happened at home and not in a PUBLIC restroom. DOUBLE EEEEEW!

Pink Thingy Redux...

So tonight, we're sitting at the dinner table, the boys using their plastic farm animal, one piece chopsticks to eat with...and bigstinkpup looks at the cow on top of his chopsticks, and says...
"Hey...his pink thingy is supposed to be pink, and it's NOT.
You know the pink thingy...I mean...the gutter..."

God, do I love him so much, and I am ever so thankful for the joyous moments he gives me everyday!

falsies...

Cstink and I have each gone out and gotten ourselves some fab new false eyelashes from MAC. You see...we are both gearing up to take the world by storm, and we need to batt them lashes, big time! Having NEVER worn them before, I must say, they went on very easily and make a noticeable difference! I was pretty intimidated, yet so girlishly overjoyously thrilled with the results!

The only thing is if you wear the full eye length versions, and your eyes are two different shapes, the difference will be enhanced, and you'll end up looking like a wonky Phillis Diller...

So just a little shout out to my gal Kim who helped me prepare for the tv shoot. Thank you so much for all your help! From the tips of my lashes to the bottom o' my heart! Also, a thanks to me blogmate Cstink for being so great at the shoot, and for standing on a wind whipped rooftop in the freezing balls ass cold for two hours while we shot standups, and even worse, my 20thousand takes inside the echoey lobby..."Evidence of the rich history..." doh! Thanks again for being there!

ps...i had pics to illustrate, but this new blogger format has me all messed up. will add later!

pink thingy...

whoah...taken out of context, that sounds pretty dir-tayyy! pink thingy...it's actually quite benign and cute...once you know its origins.

see, my stinkpuppies and i were driving past our local dairy farm...(i know, i know...) and in the summer time, it usually elicits a yell from my older pup for everyone to plug our noses " 'cuz it STINKS!". but, being as it's january, and the windows are all closed, we can wind by the fields and gaze at the bovine beauties in all their methane gas producing, cud chomping, grazing. lolly-gagging, meandering wonderfulness.

Well, this recent jaunt past the farm, i wondered allowed where my "favorite how-now-brown cow" might be, as i didn't see it. (we all have our favorite cow) and bigstinkpup says, "Maybe it's getting milked." to which 3 yr. old juniorstinkpup replied: "...that's not very nice." and i said, "its not a bad thing...for a cow to get milked. but you shouldn't drink it straight from the cow...it has to be cleaned up through a process called...pasteurizaaaation and homogenizaaation."
(dork, dork, dorky me.) and 6 yr old bigstinkpup says, "yeah, they take it into the barn, squeeze the milk from the pink thingy, and...that's it!" I cracked up! He had no idea what he said that could possibly have elicited a laugh from me..."it's called an udder." i said..."Oh..." and a round of giggles abounded from all.

see? cute! just like i said.

that is...unless you look at this:




EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

it's the end of the year...

i can't believe how much can change in a year's time...when someone says to you, "Life can change on a dime."...it is so very true...at least for me.

So...with all of the bad, and the sad, and the heart wrenching pain and losses that I have suffered through I can honestly also say to you that I have also experienced equal amounts of joy, peace, gain, and inner growth. I've always ended up on my feet, and come out the backside much better for having gone through it...well, with the exception of my dear mom's passing, that is.

My boys are my life, and for them I know I am blessed beyond belief. I look at them, and think to myself that somewhere, somehow, I did something right in a past life to have been gifted with these two shining sons. I go forth into a new year with the fortitude of hope for amazing days yet to come, and the opportunity for a second chance at happiness.

To my soon to be ex-husband, I say this...for all we have been through, for all the sadness and hardship, I am sorry for all that I did, and didn't do...from the bottom of my heart. I do wish for you a happy life, and wonderful second chances as well. I hope you find all that you seek in a fulfilled life, and that you find someone to love you, in all of the ways you said I no longer did...and I sincerely hope you find it...all of it.

To all of my family and friends...one in the same...to say, "Thank you"...is the understatement of all time. I couldn't possibly express it in words. The boys and I are blessed to have you.

Happy New Year to one and all. I love you!

Stinkmums...still not showering...and apparently, not blogging either!

Let's catch us all up, shall we? Cstink's taking a screenwriting course, and you will all one day be privvy to her confessions of a genius mind when tuning into her show on tv...or the big screen...whichever comes first...I am still reeling from my separation and trying to figure out a way to make life work up here in our little Utopia/Oasis here in NeverNeverland...both of us have begun steady rotation at the stinkpups' school campus for pick up and drop off...recently got the driver's side window fixed on my Disco, after having driven around for about a month with the window duct taped shut so it wouldn't fall open while I drove! It was so ghetto, and very funny pulling up to school and having to open the door to give my kid's name to the pick up attendant...at least the tape was black and matched the door frame, so there was SOME blending. It just so happened that I had black duct tape because....well...I don't do anything by the book style wise, and that also somehow involves my choice in duct tape...that, and it reminds me of gaffer's tape, which harkens me back to my days working in tv. speaking of harkening back, I had the chance to hang with two of my sweet, sweet, buddies last weekend, and I have never been so happy to see them. getting back to the car window...i also cut off a few feet of hair a couple weeks ago, so now no longer have to worry about closing my hair in the car door or window while driving. The lady totally jackie channed my head with shears and it took a couple of intense sessions of me fixing it over the bathroom sink with my own shears to get it somehow less chainsaw massacred...and now am having to part it on the side to hide the assymetrical botch job. sigh...it's only hair, right? Cstink told me that her hair reeks of rotten Cheerios, which I think is HI-larious, and so oddly keenly descriptive that it makes me want to sample it in person to see if she is right! But since neither of us have been going to pilates lately, and have only been able to wave at eachother like two discos passing in the twilight, alas, I shall have to forego the rotten cheerio smell. will have to ask Kuukie if it's an accurate description! okay, that's all i got for yous...or shall i say ...YOU. if we even have our one reader left! HULLO?! is anybody out there?

Ladies and Gents...I've come to the realization that...I must be part Sharpei...With the weightloss, combined with my age...and having birthed two enormous babies...I now have a wrinkly, saggy...Sharpei looking butt! All of these extra cheek folds, with nothing to fill it out... Sigh...no amount of Co-enzyme Q10, Fat Girl Slim, or any other de-wrinkle cream will fix it. Short of getting a butt tuck surgical procedure, I'm stuck with it! My cousin's a plastic surgeon...but...um...hello? I don't want him to see my ass! I think of the types of cosmetic surgeries I would like to have done to fix...nip...tuck...then I get all neurotic and think..."But what if I get an infection from the surgerical procedure, get sick and die...all for the sake of vanity???" And that's when I remind myself...correction...resign myself to the fact that, yes, I am 39 years old, and although my body is now starting to belie my inner-self age...I'm stuck with it for better or for worse! S0...for anyone that wonders what it is that I look like...well...this picture sums it up pretty well!

Sigh...We totally SUCK at blogging!
It's not as though I don't have shit to talk about, it's just that it's all just sensitive subject matter...
Sorry Stinkys, but when I can resume the free form blah blah blah, i will be back with a vengeance...for now, i'm just
trying to keep my shit together, and get my ass in gear for an uncertain future.

I'm up for the challenge though...Got no choice! Plus, I was totally raised to be a surviving, fighting, ass-kicking...nice, sweet, Korean girl. heh!

It's that time of year again...

Back to school!!! YAY, YIPPEE and YAHOOOO_EEEEEY!!! I think the kids are just completely sick of hanging out with me!
BigStinkPup heads off to Kindergarten, and BabyStinkPup starts his first year of preschool...Awww...gee...I'm getting misty thinking about it! My lil' guys are my entire world! I won't know what to do with myself on the days they are both in school...although I hope I will be working, as I will indeed, be needing to find a part time job, and am in the process of job hunting as I write this.

In all of this back to school-ness, we got through all of our supply and clothes shopping...nothing but kicks left to get....I tell you, H&M Kids is the bomb-diggity for boys clothes. I was able to get SO MUCH for SO LITTLE. It's the equivalent of MiniBoden style, for a third of the price. If I told you what I spent at MiniBoden last fall for back to school clothes, you'd faint. CStink turned me on to the joint, and am I ever so grateful. Her kids have great style, BTW. Fauxhawks, mohawks, and all! Awesome. My kids run into things because their hair is so long...and everyone thinks they are girls...hahaha...

This year BigStinkpup starts on a soccer pee wee league too. He is SO pumped! We have to go get him his first set of cleats and shin guards...too cute!!! I am probably more excited than he is! How much did I love playing soccer, and...ahem...loved all the boys who played soccer too...Never was one for the football, baseball, hockey guys...always went for the soccer, lacrosse, dudes...anyway, he starts week after next, and neither one of us can wait!

So where am I going with all of this? Dunno...just verbal vomitting to get back into writing since it's been so long since I blogged. Am proud to say that I am type, type, typing away, on my spankin' Macbook...I'm in love...Apple, why did I stay away from you for so long? I'm sorry...truly I am. I had to interrogate Kuukie with an onslaught of Mac questions the other day because I'd forgotten so much...thanks for the help! Cstink's rocking the new Macbook too, so now we are the Disco driving, Macbook clicking, Pilates going, non-showering StinkMums.

Okay, das all I gots...doing a freelance project and I've gotta hit it, or else I'll fall asleep before it's done. Peace out, Stinkerdoolittles.

Field Blogger + The Fabulous CStink

So I'm out on the road with the two StinkPups...visiting family, going swimming, and having a great time.

Spoke to CStink for the first time the other day, in over a week, and lemme tell you, she never ceases to amaze and impress me. Totally missed shooting the shit with her on regular basis, 'til our ears get all sweaty on our cellphones. One of the things I love about her is that no matter what I say, or ruminate aloud about, or bitch over...she never, ever makes me feel like I'm just an f'ing crazy lady in a housecoat with knee-hi nylons, blue eyeshadow and no censorship abilities, yelling my ass off on the sidewalk, to no one in particular....(Can you picture it? Yeah, well, I've been made to feel that way many a-time, by many a-persons...)Anyway...I can talk to her about anything...aN-y-thing...and she knows exactly what I'm referencing, or speaking of, and always has this amazing input in return. Our subjects range from biodiesel to Buddhism, from polo to Karl Lagerfeld...I kid you not...she is the bomb, and can make interesting conversation on any subject! She's taught me so much that my brain is staving off the Alzheimers just by knowing her. I think she must be a (read in Wiley Coyote voice:) Suuu-uuper Geee-niusss.

Most women that I have met since having children usually end up keeping a wide perimeter away from me...after making friendly conversation, they all eventually end up looking at me like I'm from outerspace, and then avoid me the next time we see eachother...I never knew I was SUCH a freak, until I tried making friends with suburban moms... Or...do you think maybe it's because I'm a StinkMum? Kind of like the SpongeBob episode when he eats the peanut onion sundae and can't figure out why everyone is skanking away from him, cuz he doesn't know he stinks so badly...Hmmm...

So anyway...I tell you, it's been a long and lonely road that led me and my kids up to Massachusetts, one in which we moved away from friends and family, and with my closest friends scattered about in Brooklyn, and Connecticut, and the SouthWest states, L.A., etc., ...the fabulous friendship that has come about with CStink is truly rare and very much appreciated~! And to think, it all came about when I asked her where she gets her Disco serviced...ha! Thanks for being such a great friend, CStink! Glad you're back from your trip, and we'll be seeing you at Pilates next week when we return!!!

Stink Hiatus

Hola, Stinkerdoolittles. Cstink and I are each taking trips, so we will be seeing you back here in about two weeks or so...blogging if we can, but most likely just a movin' and a groovin' to our respective travellin' beats. So until then, hope you are all doing well, and we shall return very soon! Keep checking back!

AAAAAAAAAH!!!

When things get shitty I just wanna scream. Can't stand it when I have to deal with selfish people. Especially selfish people that lie to you on top of it. Being vague? Because I have to be...to protect the privacy of the shitty selfish liars out there, because they have rights too, I suppose...I'm trying my best to do what's right, and it's not easy...

That's all I can say because otherwise I will start to get all specific, and really I just needed a moment to rage and rant in a public way because I am one frustrated and sad little AStink lately. And to top it off, I've been showering on a near daily basis, being a total traitor to the stink, if you will...but tomorrow I'll break the cleanliness cycle, and not shower before I'm off to the gym to work off some of my pain, and to sweat out some of the salt that keeps running out of my eyes, and not from my pores, like I'd prefer it to be...Sick of crying...it's just exhausting, really...Looking forward to happy days in the future, and like my good buddy in New Mexico always tells me, and I've quoted him before here on the blog...He says, "Shiny side up. Always, always."

All this stress has got me down to officially losing 15lbs. though, and for the first time in over 7 years, I fit into a pair of one of my kick ass Rebecca Danenberg, slim fit pants that I used to stomp around the Big Apple in. How happy am I that I hung on to all of those great pants? See? Designer stuff rocks, and you should hold onto the stuff you really love, cuz sooner or later...it comes back into style.

On that note...Have a good night Stinkerdoos.

This is Bjorn...and Agneta...and Dag

Like many, many women out there...I too fall victim to the old habit of, "When something changes dramatically in your life, change your hairstyle too..." thing.

For instance...way back in my senior year in college, I had some long ass, spiral permed hair, pointed black toed skull buckled boots, a painted biker jacket, lots of black liquid eyeliner, and a boyfriend named Steve. Well, when Steve and I bit the dust, I grabbed my magazine with Linda Evangelista on the cover, headed to New Haven, showed my hairdresser...and boom. No more hair! Boy cut city all the way...the two comic book obsessed guys that sat next to me in my studio drawing class back on campus didn't even recognize me.
Shit, did that take forever and a day to grow out...

When I was preggers with my first son, and exploded to a whopping 60 lbs over my starting weight, I also lopped off 6 inches of hair and had the stylist ship it off to Locks of Love. Big mistake...made the bloated tick look I had going on even more apparent. Plus...the hairstylist I went to totally SUCKED so the cut was just awful. (I won't even get into the time a hairdresser gave me a fucking Winona Ryder in BeetleJuice hair cut...that one made me actually cry in her chair before I even left the salon! How's that for an indicator of whether or not your client liked the haircut you just gave them? Open sobbing...nice work!)

My hair has always been some sort of indicator of my current life style...I've had just about every style under the sun...straight, spiked, curly asymmetrical, bangs, no bangs, shaved, long, light, dark, and every color in between...and now that I am 39, and going through another unexpected event...well...at least I have remained consistent...I colored my hair the other evening...

What sort of prompted the change was when I was watching a pod on Currentv the other night, and I saw a shot of all these young Japanese trend-mongers milling about in Shibuya, and realized that I had achieved the same "I'm Asian and I have orange hair" look that many of them had...especially the men...Yuck, no thanks...don't want to blend in...happy in my individuality, thank you very much. So off to the store I went to pick up a nice, Angelina Jolie brown to cover up all the fried, frizzle blonde stuff running down my back like a horse's tail.

Back at the house with two boxes of Feria's "Havana Brown" and I'm ready to go...Now, I have been dying my hair for decades, no problem, but let me tell you...It was a total clusterF in the bathroom that night! There was brown blotch and splotch ALL OVER the place. It looked like an OoMpa LoOmpa came in and exploded all over the place in a massive chocolate attack. It got to the point where I was getting dizzy from the fumes, and to top it off...for the FIRST TIME EVER, I managed to get the shit in my eye! What the heck???? Burnt like acid, and had to rip off the gloves to stop all the mess I was making to save my eyesight and unglue my brown stained contact lens out of my left eyeball. ....sigh...

The next day I woke up, looked in the mirror, and to my surprise...I kinda liked how it came out! A bit redder than I had hoped, but eh, I could go darker the next time 'round, no?...NO. No such luck...later that day I happened to grab a mirror to look at the back side of my head, and realized that I had missed an entire square section of hair smack dab in the middle of my horse's tail...It was this blonde-ish, greenish patch of hair that was so obviously missed. All I could think was "...shiiiiiit". I can't let this go unfixed!

Back to the store...a different store mind you, because it's all I had time allotted for before my dentist appointment, and my babysitter time ran out...Grabbed a box of Garnier Medium Brown, came home, and got busy. I was very, very, very careful this time, and completely saturated my hair this time. Well, ladies and gents, it worked, and I didn't burn my eye, and it is a nice shade of brown...and from now on y'all can just call me Astinkelina Jolie...I told Cstink that I'm going to start adopting children from around the world, and she said I should do the reverse and start collecting kids from developed countries...hehehe..."And, this is Lars, and Sven, and Gunther, and Johan..." HEY! There are underpriveledged kids in Switzerland and Sweden too, ya know! Sheesh! hahaha...

Okay, that's all I got for you stinkers...the laptop's getting hot on my legs and I gots to wake up early tomorrow to get to Pilates on time before all the reformers get taken! (CStink...See you there!) Peace!

Okay, I have officially had to reset my Blogger password 3 times...this whole life upheaval that I have been going thru lately has most obviously affected my memory. As of today, I've lost 13 lbs from working out faithfully, and from being completely stressssssssed. I guess in some of the fat loss, I've also managed to lose brain cells.

I'm in the midst of starting my own company too...a fashion stylist/image consultant biz, and I am excited about that...yay! I'm also going to take a real estate class to go for my license...AND, I've gotten my voice over reel updated and already done a demo at a local recording studio for a possible gig...yup...das right...AStink's inching her way back into the working world...slowly but surely! So...if in the next few months...you find yourself needing an image consultant, or need a female voice over talent...or want to buy a house...just give me a holler, yo! hehehe... Peace out.

It's been so long since I blogged that I actually forgot my password...
I've been MIA because things have been OOC. (out of control)
I have seen and gone thru so much crap lately that I have a year's worth of entry material, but all of it's still private and too new and raw and emotional to talk about. All I can say is that a new chapter in my life, and the life of my family has unfolded, and I want to thank CStink for being such an amazing friend thru all of this, and for all her understanding, support, patience, wit, charm, empathy, and humor during my insane in the membrane existence. Thanks for putting up with me!!! You are truly a wonderful friend. And, for any of my buddies that may be reading and aware of the roller coaster ride that I have been on lately,...thank you to you to0, for all of your love and support. Peace out.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice...

What a load of bullcrap. When a gal's on the ragg, ain't nothin' sweet and spicey about her. It's all piss n' vinegar as far as I'm concerned.

Today I was just about to begin working out at the gym when BOOM. I get my period. Of course...I am unprepared and have nothing on me but my Fendi bag filled with nothing even resembling feminine protection...I run into the shower area to the wall dispenser and am greeted with two blaring windows that read "EMPTY". Shit!

See what I mean? Where's the sugar and spice, I ask you?

Anyway...I am thankful for the following things:

I am thankful that my friend was in the locker room getting ready for a training session.

I am thankful that she went shopping at Kmart yesterday.

I am thankful that she clipped a coupon for a multi-pack of Kotex.

I am thankful that she was too lazy to unload the bags from her car lastnight.

And, lastly...I am most thankful and ever so grateful as she is handing me the keys to her car so I can go out to the parking lot and fish a tampon out of the bags still sitting in her trunk!

I must say too that it was a nice little work out afterall, and that after I downed two Motrin from the uterus folding cramps I had when I got home...I was actually starting to feel less pissy and vinegarey...not exactly sweet, but not bitter either.

Go figure! Have a good night, Stinkeydoos...

PS... the entry I wanted CStink to post is up! Check it out below, Yo...
It's the one titled, "Camp, Not Just for Drag Queens."

Blogger's acting up...I'm lying here thinking I should be nice and faithful and put up a post, but realize..."I really don't have anything on my mind to blog about." When I pull up our page, I see and read a fantabulous new post by CStink...so I go to log in to compliment her on another brilliant entry when I see in our Blogger edit page that the entry I had just read up on our site is still in Draft mode...Whassupwitdat?

Anyway...CSTINK! You need to publish that entry! It's so yummy, ooey, gooey, chewy and satisfyingly delicious that you must share with our readers...

OMG, I'm picking up a weak wireless signal, have low battery, and two kids grabbing at my arms right now...but here's a quickie for you...I drove my Disco on a road today that was being repaved, and got a rock stuck in one of the brakes up front. The squealing noise was unbearably loud and funny. The looks we got were equally hilarious. By the time I pull up to our garage, our mechanic looks at me and says..."Do you hear yourself?!" Shaking his head at me like I did it somehow on purpose. He was totally making fun of me!

Anyway, the rock's out, but it totally fucked up our afternoon plans, and I ended up having to hang out in an impromptu playdate to keep the pups happy. The only thing was that the playdate was with this wildpackanimal of a kid that, has no impulse control whatsoever...Yeah, it was completely nerve wracking, with him jumping on my furniture, running all over the house, screaming and crying at every little thing, and culminated with him throwing a total hissy when my lil' babystinkpup took a sip out of his water bottle. He took the bottle and sprayed it all over the dining room table in a fit and then blew up. He calmed down, but just as he's FINALLY about to leave, still managed to throw the remaining amount of water in the bottle all over Bigstinkpup, the floor, the front door, and the shoes in the foyer...(das right homies, we Asians really DO take our shoes off at the door.) What can I say other than..."YYYeP...Good times!"

We STINK!

How bad have we both been about blogging lately? Very, very, very naughty, indeed. It's not as though we've been super ass busy lately...just usual day-to-day crap, though CStink is in the home stretch of her 5k training, now turned 10k! She's also resumed finishing the work on her house with butt-kicking vengeance! Me? Must have been the ovulating or PMSing or MSing, cuz I've been doing some major nesting...cleaning, moving furniture, washing, folding, organizing, etc. I told Mr. BS that I don't like any of this behavior one bit, so not to get used to it, because this domestic goddess crap is just not my style. Other than that, I'm still exercising, but with not much results...I've actually gained 5 pounds! All bloat and lactic acid, I'm told. Feh, whatever! I do feel the cross over into my daily activities though. I'm stronger and tire much less easily, so that's good, huh?

We are going to try to squeeze ourselves into a popular Pilates reformer class at our gym on Thursday, though I'm scared that I'm just going to be a total weakling, left with my hair all tangled in the machine, farting, and wheezing in a corner. We shall see! I won't know unless I try, right?

Speaking of the gym...CStink and I went to do some cardio together last week, I believe it was, and SHE IS A CARDIO QUEEN. Holy Shit, did she put my sorry ass to shame! She gets up onto the elliptical and goes full-on bionic energizer bunny fast for an hour and doesn't slow for a second. As for me? I friggin' hate the elliptical...I think it's evil, and my body goes into sheer rejection mode as soon as I start to move on it. I have no elliptical endurance strength...give me the lame ol' treadmill, baby, cuz that's about all I'm good for right now. I can only hope to one day be in enough shape to actually go running with CStink, and not die along the way. She said something hilarious on the way home from the gym...we were in my Disco, driving along, talking about how we were sweaty, all oily and gross, and not showered, etc, when she starts to laugh and tells me, "I'm conditioning the leather on your seat." hahaha! Then we went for lunch. Good times!

I spoke with a Suzuki Guitar instructor today about setting up BigStinkPup for lessons. The thing with Suzuki is that they can start at a much younger age for music lessons, because there is parent involvement...meaning I will also have to have lessons to help him in his...7 weeks of "Parent Education" before his lessons even begin! It's all worth it to me though, because I have not picked up my guitar in ages, and have just about forgotten all that I learned when I took a guitar class at the New School oh, about 15 years ago...no joke. So ultimately, this is something we can do together, and bond over. They start at the age of 3 with guitar, so maybe next fall, BabyStinkPup can start lessons too! OMG, too funny to even think about, he will totally get all rockstar and smash the shit out of any guitar he comes near! Better rethink that one...

So that's all I've got for you right now...promise to make a better effort at keeping up the posts! Peace!

Gasp...pant...wheeze...I just got back from a "walk-run" with BabyStinkPup in the jogger...all 41 lbs of him and _ _ _ lbs of me...hobbling up and down the road. We live in an historic district by the water, and breathtakingly beautiful as it is, the sidewalks here are just as old as the homes, and it makes for some bumpy going. Tried to stick to the side of the road, but there was just too much traffic. Old men in construction vehicles, trying to run us over and senior citizens going 50 mph...yikes. All the while, I'm trying to keep pace, with BabyStinkPup yelling, "Faster! Go Faster!"

It kind of turned into a comedy of errors, with my pants persistently slipping down onto my pancake ass, and me having to hitch them back up every few paces, my ipod earbuds popping out of my ears like corks, and my flatsy patsy chest all a jiggledy. (The other day I wondered aloud where my jogging bra was, and Mr.BS says incredulously, "Do you actually need one?" I retaliated by running down the hall after him, and trying to jam one of my fingers up between his boxer short covered ass cheeks, but he clamped shut the crack door before I got a good vengeful jab at him. God, am I really sharing this with you?!) Anyway, I passed two moms out strolling with their...ecch..Gracos (Yes, I'm a stroller snob too, I'm sorry...) I heard one of them telling the other that she wished their stroller had a motor on it...lazy!...and though they both said hello kindly, I could feel their, "Who the hell does she think SHE is?" dagger looks hitting me in my back as I ran past. Can't say I blame them, because...just who the hell DO I think I am, anyway? I'm so out of shape, I must have looked a frightful mess trying to muscle the cumbersome jogger up and down the hill!

I stopped by my friend's house across the way to see if she wanted to join me in my torture-cise, but being she answered the door in her nightgown, you know I ended up having to brave the rest of my trip without her. The most fun was when we finally turned into our drive, and I ran as fast as I could down the rocky, bumpy dirt lane, with BabySP howling with laughter. Not the safest thing to do on my part, but hey, I did have the safety cord for the e-brake around my wrist, so even if I did bite the dust, he still wouldn't have rolled down the yard into the water! So we were okay.

At least I'm making an attempt to keep up with my bikini resolution...couldn't go to the gym because BabySP has a cough and is on Zithromax, so I don't want to expose him, or other kiddies to him at the childcare there. It's amazing how much today's trip kicked my ass SO much more than the treadmill does. The actual movement that traverses physical distances...so much more taxing than stationary exercise...Wow, am I a loser!

Meanwhile, CStink's going to be running a 5k race in her town, and I'm totally going to be there to cheer her on when she crosses the finish line! I'll be holding up a big sign for her that says, "What's that smell?!" hahaha...Then I'll douse her in a bucket of Gatorade. Later!

Me Stink Pretty One Day

I swear, knowing CStink may be akin to knowing a female version of David Sedaris. She's so funny, smart and insightful on levels that you could only imagine! The stuff that comes out of her mouth has me, and those around us just rolling with laughter. Her shock value is dead on, and right up my alley, and the fact that she doesn't feel the need to censor herself makes hanging out with her truly fun.

The other day at school pick up, she looks over at one of the moms standing on the grass, and I could just see the wheels turning in her head...Not taking her eyes off the woman, she then proceeds to tell me her theory on the connection between menopause, and the fleece vest...I will let her elaborate on it further in depth, but just the subject alone is enough for pause for consideration and a big old...HMMMMMM. Okay, it's past pups' bedtime, hate to leave you hanging, but that's all I've got for you right now!

Stink And The City

So CStink and I went to Manhattan for the day on Sunday. We tromped and tramped all over the place, never hitting up a taxi or subway once. We started off in Chelsea, and worked our way over to the Meat Packing District to see some of the design displays going on over the weekend in the shops over there. Boy has the neighborhood changed...I lived on 15th St for a year waaaaaaay back when, and let me tell you, the Meat Packing District was just that...stinky, yucky, fly buzzing meat packing! Now? Hello, Alexander McQueen...

From there we went trolling all over Soho. The weather was completely schizophrenic, with intermittent downpours and sunshine. We could have cared less. Our jaunt ended in Little Italy, with CStink stopping by the Paul Frank boutique to pick up some stuff for her pups, and then a late meal. We walked back up to her Disco, parked on 22nd St., and made it back to Mass. by 11:p. Not too shabby for a Sunday drive, huh? It was awesome to be back, and I miss it always! The only thing missing was a visit with my boy, B., and having the luxury of time to spend with him, and various cousins and friends still living there.

Last year, when I was there in the summer, I couldn't get over how many babies there were in the city. This time, I couldn't get over how many DOGs there were all over the place...on the sidewalks, inside the shops...it was incredible.
We also saw the world's tiniest baby sitting fully upright on her father's shoulder...she was smaller than my pups when they were newborns, and we're guessing from her ability to sit upright unassisted, she was a lot older than she looked, even though she was only about the size of her dad's head...it was more fascinating to see than it sounds, trust me.

CStink warned a man with three Weimaraners that one of them had a chicken bone in its mouth, and when he walked away from us, I told her it was William Wegman. He should have thanked her for it, because he was oblivious to the bone...but he didn't. Eh, whatever!

So that's it! Off to the gym to go walk/run off the lovely shin splints I got from wearing improperly cushioned ballet flats all day Sunday. Later!

No more tankinis!

It's no joke when I tell you that I am woefully out of shape. I'm thankful for my fashion background, because since giving birth to my two boys, I have had to rely heavily on my knowledge to camoflauge my lovely lady lumps...Alas, summer is zooming in, and the thoughts I had midwinter of losing my now nearly three year old extra baby carrying weight is now just a distant memory...But, I am determined, and as you Stinkydoos out there are my witness, I am saying now that the days of the bikini are not gone forever, and that I would like to be back in itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-bikini shape by mid summer. July, perhaps? To start it off, I re-joined the gym this week, and my friend, the owner, gave me a training session my first day. When she said to me, "They call me the slave driver." I had no doubts that I was in for it! She had me work my legs, and now, two days later, I tell you that I can barely walk.

I keep calling up or texting CStink, and whining like a baby about my quads! (For those of you who don't know, CStink is a long distance sports junkie, and can run, run, run, forevah! She's in amazing shape and has no need to camoflauge any lumps because she has none to hide!) She's loving the pain I'm in! Okay, so I am too, I admit. I think it's hi-larious that I cannot walk up or down any stairs without huge assistance from the railing, and that I look like I'm in a John Wayne cowboy movie when descending, thinking that I need some chaps. I can hardly lower myself to sit down on the pot, it's that bad! I shake and tremble and need to grab onto the sink counter...

Mr.BS is LOVING it. He keeps whispering to the Stinkpups to go pat mommy on the thighs, or the buns because he knows I'm in total lactic acid agony, and then howls with laughter to see me yelping in pain! Such a sadistic man I married!!! But, hey, I would be doing the exact same thing if this were him, so I really can't blame him for I am twice as merciless as he! He, BTW, also got a year membership from our generous friend, and now has no excuse but to attempt to shrink dem daddy boobies and lovely lady lumps he's been growing all winter.

I went back in today to treadmill off some of the pain, but man, was I seeing green clouds of dizziness when I finally stepped down from the machine! I drove straight from the gym to the local market, and blessed the nice Japanese sushi man for his California rolls, got back in the car, and wolfed down the whole package, sans wasabi and soy sauce. (too hungry to bother!) Tomorrow it's back to the gym. I am determined not to fail! There was some study done a few years back that revealed that the person that stays home to watch the kids has a higher chance of developing heart disease, and I really feel like I could be a candidate for that if I remain on the path I have been lying down on for the past 5 years. So, wish me luck...I'm going to need it!

PS. CStink told me something riotous the other day...Her Kuukie and my Mr. BigStink were having lunch together a few weeks back, and when Kuukie kiddingly told CStink that they were actually at Hooters, she responded by texting them back saying she and I also had reservations at some place with an onslaught of hilarious foot-long hot dog references...when she was finally finished, Kuukie told her that my Mr. BigStink looked at him and said about her..."Wow, you've got your hands full with that one." hehehe...so great! It's no wonder we get along.

Square Pegs

Hey Stinkerdoos, Long time no see...We have been toying with the idea of doing an audio post, so that's where our heads have been as of late. Stay tuned for some raucous good Stinkmum fun for the ears. In the meantime...a feast for the eyes...I stumbled onto this artist, Annie Morris, and specifically a body of work of hers called, "Pegs". Click image to go to site to see more at Artnet.com. When you see the work from afar, it looks almost tapestry...but it is comprised of a series of clothes pins, each of which the artist has illustrated, painted, drawn on...It must have been a huge, painstaking, time consuming effort, and for that alone, I am very impressed, not to mention the amazing outcome. Love it. If you go to the website, you can see a closeup image of the pegs to see her intricate detail. It's not often I see contemporary art that affects, or moves me enough to write about...

On the flipside of things, I am still fully immersed in the book, I, Elizabeth, and up to my eyeballs in the English ways. Speaking of eyeballs, I've also resumed my intermittent eyelid tick. My right lower eyelid has been ticking and tremoring since Saturday, and I'm about ready to lose it! My big bro told me that tonic water with Quinine makes it go away. I tried it, yet I'm still twitchy-witchy. I must look all a-freak...with my dirty self, (no shower today! ) and eyelid tremor. Shall I milk it just for fun, and add an odd head twitch, spasm thing to it to complete the effect? It would, afterall, fully illustrate the craziness that's been going on inside my head! I queried my malady on WebMD, and discovered that they are usually stress related...greeaaaat. Got to love that! At any rate, this is AStinkmum, aka, Momma-Noided-Out, saying,
Have a good day, Stinx! (And, stay tuned for upcoming audio post!)

I, Stinknerd

I think I may have blogged in the past about having a thing for period English movies and books("Sense and Sensibility", Shakespeare, etc)...I can't remember though...No matter. The other evening I was flipping channels, and stumbled upon HBO's "Elizabeth I"

series...it was late at night, I was tired, yet...I could not stop watching. I had actually picked up the book, "I, Elizabeth" the other day, so it kind of goes against my "read the book before seeing the movie" ideals, but hey, it's history, not pure fiction, and I already knew the story, so, eh, whatever! So there I was, watching the show...and I was half an hour into it when I realized that I was sitting in the bed bolt upright with the remote still in my hand. It was so good! I couldn't help but laugh at my sheer dorkiness...I had caught myself just a few weeks ago doing nearly almost the same thing while watching a small piece on the Beastie Boys on Fuse's, Influenc'd. I wasn't sitting bolt upright, but realized at some point during the program that I had been open-mouthed smiling at the television for Lord only knows how long. DORKUS AMONGUS!! It's pretty bad when you consciously have to snap your mouth shut...Sigh...English period pieces and the Beastie Boys...I am one strange bird...I mean...nerd.

Oh! Here's another thing I have taken to doing lately...I am very embarrassed to tell you that more than once in the past few weeks, I have been in the car driving along, reached for the radio, and realized that my hair was shut in the door...

I think I need a vacation...

Long Live Beck...

Yesterday at school pick up time I let BabyStinkPup run around the preschool playground for a bit. He was in his glory! The preschoolers were all calling his name, asking him to chase them, and giving him all this great love and attention. At one point, one of the girls called out to the teacher and said, "Miss Allison! He just said, 'That's awesome!' " Yes, indeedy...that would be mom and dad's influence on him...he says everything's awesome...his two year old repertoire of words also includes: that's so cool, and yo yo yo... I'm not too worried about it though, because it sounds cute, he'll grow out of it, and he really doesn't know what he's saying when he says it for the most part.

-- On the way home from dinner tonight we were all in the car, and I said, "Thanks for dinner, dad!" to prompt the boys...and Mr. BigStink says, "Did you guys hear what mommy just said?" and BabyStinkpup looks at him from his carseat and says, "...Two turntables and a microphone?" I kid you not! I was howling. --PEACE OUT!

I'm on a PMS tirade...so don't even bother reading this if you don't feel like hearing about my petty annoyances...

---Was lazing around on the couch looking at some mail order clothing catalogs in a completely comatose state when I was overcome with disgust and tossed the stack to the side in complete, "Ugghhhh!" Can't these companies at least make an effort to come up with something new and fresh instead of recycling the same shit over and over again? Speaking of recycling...that's exactly where the catalogs are going...

These are some of the things I am absolutely sick of from sheer overkill:

• Anything Hawaiian hibiscus print -- It's freaking everywhere
• Anything bamboo
• Home decorating with anything to do with surfing --tables, sheets, curtains, infact, theme anything is bad
• Merrells or anything resembling Merrells
• Lily Pulitzer knock-offs - Four summers ago the entire center of Edgartown on Martha's Vineyard was over-run with shops carrying the tell tale pink and green...now it's in Walmart!
• Ribbon belts
• Anything personalized or monogrammable
• Thick strapped bathingsuits...especially ones made of ribbed fabric...what about us itty-bitty-titty girls that don't require our boobs to be jacked up, lashed down, underwired or padded?
• Silk shantung. --eccchhh!
• Anything beaded, bedazzled, or applique'd
• West Coast Chopper - the label is so overly distributed that half the people probably don't even know that it's an actual shop.
• Euro stickers
• $6,000 blue jeans
• velour track suits
• metallic accessories
• fake flowers on everything, the knitted kind, the silk kind, the beaded kind,...lapels to shoes...
• Extreme Home Makeover...they are helping the needy, yes, that's GOOD! They're also erecting these unnecessarily enormous and grandiose MacMansions with these over the top theme rooms...it's such a waste of man-made and natural resources...just think of heating, cooling, electric and water costs alone for these places...and what about the way they pull down the old houses for dramatic effect? You cannot tell me that none of these homes contained asbestos or lead paint...they're just releasing all of that shit into the environment to float around...ugh, don't get me started we can't even stomach to watch it anymore...and PS. Ty Pennington! For a hottie, you have major sun damage going on!!! Get yourself some SPF!
• Also on the environmentally negligent and irresponsibly wasteful side are major toy companies that have taken to wiring down every single piece of a toy with plastic coated twistie-ties, making it almost impossible to remove it from its packaging. NOT necessary, and completely wasteful and totally contributing to non-biodegradeable materials into our ever growing landfills. Shame on you!
• Home shopping channels...OMG! Can you believe the stuff that sells out??? I can't even tell you the crap we receive year after year from a certain QVC addicted family member...It always goes something like this..."Oh! You plug it into your car lighter, and attach it to the other car's battery to give them a jump...I got one for you, your brother, his wife, your wife, oh, and one for myself." OR "It's also a flashlight, screwdriver, nail file, seatbelt cutter and hammer to break yourself out of your car window incase you ever drive into a lake...I got one for you, your brother, his wife, your wife, oh, and one for myself." ALL of it ends up at rummage.

_______________________________________________

Okay, it's now the morning after I wrote the above post...I saved it as a draft last night because I felt like I was getting all wonky on the road and driving waaaaayyy off point. Even in my PMS tirade, I still had enough wits about myself to see that I was headed straight toward petty Whinertown which is just past Annoyingville. I was going to trash the whole thing when I thought to myself...You know what? Just publish the shitty thing! Read in Dr. Phil's voice: "Quit yer whining and own up to your crazy deluded crap!" So here goes...shaky mouse...headed towards the publish button...aaaaaaaaaahhhh!

AAAAR-R-R, Matey's!!!

Phew! I am waving the StinkFlag high and mighty today, boyeeee!!! BigStinkPup's on his second day home sick from school, so why even bother to shower?...sheee-yat!

Yesterday was nutty here though, let me tell you. Mutiny on the stinkship amongst the stinkpups...they were totally bugging the crap out of eachother and I had to stage so many interventions over toy struggles that I felt like jumping overboard...The whole, "Try to work it out amongst yourselves" approach failed miserably as neither one of them would give in. I keep warning BigStinkPup not to use brute force on BabyStinkPup too...I say..."You know...He may be bigger than you one day...Then what are you going to do?" He just looks at me blankly because his 5 year old perception of the future can't fully grasp the concept, and I can almost see the thought bubble over his head as he envisions BabyStinkPup to be this enlarged version of his exact 2 year old self, like the giant baby in the movie, "Honey, I Blew Up The Kids." Sigh...

Okay, moving on...my cousin called me the other day as said, "Guess who came to my yoga class today?" I had no idea...I'm guessing Phillip Seymour Hoffman, (whom we both adore), to Adam Yauch, (whom I also adore...he has the coolest speaking voice, and when he says words like, Milarepa, I melt in a puddle into my shoes) to, I have no idea so tell me!!! It was Shalom Harlow. She said the class was completely filled, and Shalom ended up right next to her. Um...I'm sorry, but if Shalom ever came into my yoga class and plopped her willowy self down on a mat next to me I'd probably have to leave because I would feel like Jabba the Hut trying to do downward facing dog with her right there in my view. I'm not knocking her, as she's a nice gal. A beloved friend of mine invited her to come to see a Beck/Cibo Matto show at the Supper Club...(One of my top ten best concerts seen...that was a very long time ago--we're talking "Odelay" album...oh and BTW, Cibo Matto --see pic.-- should win an award for Cutest Band Ever...) I walked with her before the show started to get a cup of coffee...I'm not kidding when I tell you that I felt like a pug on a leash walking next to her...so yeah...no yoga classes with Shalom on my "things I want to do" list. Thanks...

So that's all I've got for you today, Stinkeroos...Yeah, I know...Sorry about the NOT exactly mind blowing Pulitzer prize winning material. CStink's visiting with her mumma, "the Buddhist Nun superhero", as she so wonderfully called her! --So awesome! But never fear, we will hear from her soon and she can rescue us all from my simple minded blah-blah-blah's that I've been posting about lately. Until then, Ciao for now!

The Drool Pool

Mornin', Stinky-Doos. I woke up so late this morning, and it was nothing but rush, rush, rush to get the Pups up, washed, fed and out of the house for school,...so...once again, no shower for moi! Boy, do I need one too...Since I didn't have any time, I did the hair-up/flowery doo ragg cover up with big black sunglasses so as to camo the Stinkaction. I wonder if the teachers have caught on to me yet..."When her hair's down, she stops and says hello...when it's up and hidden...she's all cold and distant...What's up with that?" What's up with that? I'll tell you what's up with that...it's to spare you from the P Stinkin' U!

CStink's lucky...both of her pups are at the "big school" where you just pull up front and the kids hop out of the car and go to their classrooms themselves...no need to walk them in and put their lunches, coats, and snacks away like in the PreK building. She doesn't have to get out of the Disco, so she could feasibly show up in her jammies if she wanted to! --Not that she would, mind you, and if she did they'd probably be Tocca or Natori, or Calvin, or something equally as fabulous. As for me? I've been known to sport a beat up nightie with old maternity pants for pj's, --so sexy! huh?-- and then wear them with clogs and socks on a cold winter morning 'round the house... the only thing missing is the showercap and housecoat. Actually, I kind of dig those schizophrenic types of outfits. I get a kick out of them for some absurd reason. (Maybe because you're crazy...Who said that??)

Going to go scrub up before lunch...because, believe it or not even StinkMums have their limits. I was thinking that standing under a waterfall would be an appropriate amount of water force to cleanse myself off...and to illustrate that thought, I Googled, waterfall, looking for a pic to post...I got this image back as one of the hits... Holy cow, is that not an ugly sink??? It looks like one giant flow of spit oozing off the countertop. I wouldn't be surprised if I Googled, lung cookie, and the same image popped up. ACK. Just seeing it makes me feel like I need to go hack something up...Being that anything creative is just totally subjective, I can imagine someone looking at the same sink and saying, "Oh my Gawd! It's so creative and ahr-tis-tic. I have to have one!" I'll pass, thanks. Sorry to the artiste..I'm sure the processes and thoughts and efforts that went into the design were genuine...and that you didn't mean to signal a Pavlovian response in me...'ding!' Okay, I'll stop now. I'm actually starting to feel guilty for ripping on a sink. Go figure.

I'll leave you today with a quote from Sartre..."If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company”...Hmmmmmmm...?... Now that's something to gnaw on! Have a great day my Stinkies...This is AStinkmumma--OUT!

--Okay, so I'm back for some further thoughts on the Sartre quote. I left the computer, took a shower, and pondered a bit on the whole topic of loneliness. I am inherently a lonely individual...it's always sort of been my credo of self-pity...not in a whiny, woe is me, kind of way...but more sort of just resigned to the fact that I am a loner by nature.

One of the reasons CStink and I get along is because we are cut from the same cloth when it comes to our time...we would both rather spend our time alone than to fill it up with endless amounts of people, just for the sake of having company. It wastes time.

Over the years I have pretty much weeded out those who I felt were masters in the art of time suckage...just pretty much, insignificant, selfish, paranoid, insecure, or just too self-absorbed to know the meaning of unconditional love. I espouse unconditional love and view it as being a rare, yet essential part of surviving this crazy, crazy world! You need to know you are loved no matter what by at least some-one, and in return, that someone knows that you will love them no matter what in return! No weird, neurotic expectations or demands involved...just you accepting them for who they truly are, and vice versa...And, luckily I have unconditional love in my life, and appreciate unceasingly, those who are truly near and dear to my heart. When all the weeding was said and done, I must admit, the numbers of those that made the cut were pretty low indeed...and it just so happens that they are the ones that live the furthest away from me, so I miss them like mad. (You know who you are!) We go for long periods of not being in contact, yet the love never fades, and when we do see one another, we just fall right back into step as if not even a day had passed. THAT's friendship...kinship...family.

I tend to, especially at certain times of the month, blend missing my friends with the feelings of loner-dom, and they compound themselves into a solitude frenzy akin to sitting at the bottom of a well. But, I always, always can see the light of the sky when I look up from my pit of despair, and always, always manage to climb out of the funk hole. Like one of my far away buds once said to me, (Whose dog happens to be named Sartre) "Shiny side up...always, always." YES! Thank you for that!!! And, though I may not be keeping the best company with myself, each and everyday, I am who I am by choice, and I must abide by and respect my decisions without doubting...so what JPSartre said is very true and a good thing to keep reminding myself of...to keep up the momentum of my existence...to keep the shiny side up!

If We Were Brothers...

u photo credit: 1991 Wang Gangfeng/Graphique de France, Boston, USA/Paris, France
How great is this picture? It's a card that my very best galfriend in the whole wide world, as in BFF!, sent to me back in '99. Inside she wrote, "If we were brothers..." What makes it even sweeter is that she's not even asian! I stumbled across it a few months back, and everytime I look at it, I think of her! (Miss ya, now!)

The look on the faces of the two little boys is just too precious...I can't help but wonder what it is that they saw to evoke such great expressions. When my two StinkPups make faces like that, I'm the one that gets awestruck. It's just so pure and alive and in the moment and joyful that I get the same expression too. The three of us...with our mouths open, in moments of sheer wow-dom.

They also cause me to make faces that must hide or mask those very same expressions too! Just the other day BabyStinkPup was jumping all over the rug at the CVS while I was waiting in line...he was all excited about the PushPop I said he could get. He danced and spun around in revelrous glee...It kind of resembled break dancing actually,... all the while saying the word PushPop over and over again...which would have been fine, had he not been substituting the "SH" in push with, "SSEE"--Do you get what I'm saying here?? -Yeee-aaaah...that one was kind of hard to ignore! My mind was racing with thoughts like, "Holy Shit! This is so0o0o embarrassing, yet TOTALLY FUCKING HILARIOUS that I want to laugh out loud!" to..."I wonder if the lady behind me is hearing what he's saying and comprehending his true meaning...that it's a PUSH pop...Okay, mortified!!!" I was thinking these things and yet, just nodding quietly at him, smiling slightly, and shush-ing him ever so little...my face actually hurt trying to suppress my mouth-gaping, booming laugh urges. Ah BabyStinkPup...you never cease to amaze your momma with your two year old potty mouth! This very moment he's telling Mr. BigStink, "I got big Woody, dad! A big Woody!" --As in Woody from "Toy Story"...I swear Disney did that on purpose..."Dad! I want a big Buzz!" Every parent I know that owns "Toy Story" characters has said their child has said pretty much the same thing...they all have big woody's. Nice.

Alrighty then...moving onward...Yesterday, while I was roaming around Barnes&Noble in my usual, I've got a stomache ache, and can't find a book I want to read fog, CStink was out and about in her Disco, avec Kuukie Christo, looking for more companies to donate to the StinkPups' school charity event that we've been volunteering for. One of the places she stopped at, a big corporation whose holdings include a very well known sporting goods manufacturer, gave her treatment that equaled the same, "Get Smart", effect of a series of doors and gates sliding and slamming shut in her face. She's lucky she didn't get her nose pinched. (For all you youngin's out there, Get Smart was a fantastic tv sitcom about a private agent named Maxwell Smart, and his hot cohort, Agent 99.) She text messaged me with their resounding, "NO!" answer. --The bastards! (Sure, it's a private school, but they have their own wants and needs and desires just as much as the local barely accredited public schools do! ) SHEESH. i mean, really now! Can't we all just get along?

It got me thinking that the only reason I was able to get anyone to donate is because I had approached only little Mom&Pop establishments with my --drop a letter off and run tail-tucked away-- method. The places she was approaching were on uppercrust, deep-pocketed echelons...all with giant beaurocratic red tape flags flying out front. I must admire CStink for trying to wrangle with the big boyz. If we were an hi/low outfit on a charity mannequin, she would be the Proenza Schouler top, and I would be the Luella for Target jeans.

So I say to you, CStink...You go girl! Kick down the metal doors of establishment and give them a proverbial kick in the bum until their wallets fall out, then head lock them with talks of tax deductions and community participation blah blah blah until they pony up some stuff for the event! What's the name of that Hilary Swank boxing movie? The title's escaping me...anyway, get in the ring sistah, and fight, fight, fight! I am serious when I say that I will not be one least bit surprised when CStink shows up at school and pulls a promise letter for an all inclusive, all expenses paid trip to Aruba out of the back pocket of her James jeans! Woo hoo!

Okay, so par for the course, I've got another stomach ache, plus I need to go get a wet towel so I clean up all of my verbal vomit from the keyboard...I will leave you with the words of my old landlord Doris, who was Jewish, but not a New Yorker, but had a thick Queens accent nonetheless...who once said to me, "Asians and Jews! They can't digest anything!!!" then followed it up with a hearty Fran Drescher laugh...God she was so great! (Doris, not Fran.)

P-P-P-PEACE OUT!