This is Bjorn...and Agneta...and Dag
Like many, many women out there...I too fall victim to the old habit of, "When something changes dramatically in your life, change your hairstyle too..." thing.
For instance...way back in my senior year in college, I had some long ass, spiral permed hair, pointed black toed skull buckled boots, a painted biker jacket, lots of black liquid eyeliner, and a boyfriend named Steve. Well, when Steve and I bit the dust, I grabbed my magazine with Linda Evangelista on the cover, headed to New Haven, showed my hairdresser...and boom. No more hair! Boy cut city all the way...the two comic book obsessed guys that sat next to me in my studio drawing class back on campus didn't even recognize me.
Shit, did that take forever and a day to grow out...
When I was preggers with my first son, and exploded to a whopping 60 lbs over my starting weight, I also lopped off 6 inches of hair and had the stylist ship it off to Locks of Love. Big mistake...made the bloated tick look I had going on even more apparent. Plus...the hairstylist I went to totally SUCKED so the cut was just awful. (I won't even get into the time a hairdresser gave me a fucking Winona Ryder in BeetleJuice hair cut...that one made me actually cry in her chair before I even left the salon! How's that for an indicator of whether or not your client liked the haircut you just gave them? Open sobbing...nice work!)
My hair has always been some sort of indicator of my current life style...I've had just about every style under the sun...straight, spiked, curly asymmetrical, bangs, no bangs, shaved, long, light, dark, and every color in between...and now that I am 39, and going through another unexpected event...well...at least I have remained consistent...I colored my hair the other evening...
What sort of prompted the change was when I was watching a pod on Currentv the other night, and I saw a shot of all these young Japanese trend-mongers milling about in Shibuya, and realized that I had achieved the same "I'm Asian and I have orange hair" look that many of them had...especially the men...Yuck, no thanks...don't want to blend in...happy in my individuality, thank you very much. So off to the store I went to pick up a nice, Angelina Jolie brown to cover up all the fried, frizzle blonde stuff running down my back like a horse's tail.
Back at the house with two boxes of Feria's "Havana Brown" and I'm ready to go...Now, I have been dying my hair for decades, no problem, but let me tell you...It was a total clusterF in the bathroom that night! There was brown blotch and splotch ALL OVER the place. It looked like an OoMpa LoOmpa came in and exploded all over the place in a massive chocolate attack. It got to the point where I was getting dizzy from the fumes, and to top it off...for the FIRST TIME EVER, I managed to get the shit in my eye! What the heck???? Burnt like acid, and had to rip off the gloves to stop all the mess I was making to save my eyesight and unglue my brown stained contact lens out of my left eyeball. ....sigh...
The next day I woke up, looked in the mirror, and to my surprise...I kinda liked how it came out! A bit redder than I had hoped, but eh, I could go darker the next time 'round, no?...NO. No such luck...later that day I happened to grab a mirror to look at the back side of my head, and realized that I had missed an entire square section of hair smack dab in the middle of my horse's tail...It was this blonde-ish, greenish patch of hair that was so obviously missed. All I could think was "...shiiiiiit". I can't let this go unfixed!
Back to the store...a different store mind you, because it's all I had time allotted for before my dentist appointment, and my babysitter time ran out...Grabbed a box of Garnier Medium Brown, came home, and got busy. I was very, very, very careful this time, and completely saturated my hair this time. Well, ladies and gents, it worked, and I didn't burn my eye, and it is a nice shade of brown...and from now on y'all can just call me Astinkelina Jolie...I told Cstink that I'm going to start adopting children from around the world, and she said I should do the reverse and start collecting kids from developed countries...hehehe..."And, this is Lars, and Sven, and Gunther, and Johan..." HEY! There are underpriveledged kids in Switzerland and Sweden too, ya know! Sheesh! hahaha...
Okay, that's all I got for you stinkers...the laptop's getting hot on my legs and I gots to wake up early tomorrow to get to Pilates on time before all the reformers get taken! (CStink...See you there!) Peace!
For instance...way back in my senior year in college, I had some long ass, spiral permed hair, pointed black toed skull buckled boots, a painted biker jacket, lots of black liquid eyeliner, and a boyfriend named Steve. Well, when Steve and I bit the dust, I grabbed my magazine with Linda Evangelista on the cover, headed to New Haven, showed my hairdresser...and boom. No more hair! Boy cut city all the way...the two comic book obsessed guys that sat next to me in my studio drawing class back on campus didn't even recognize me.
Shit, did that take forever and a day to grow out...
When I was preggers with my first son, and exploded to a whopping 60 lbs over my starting weight, I also lopped off 6 inches of hair and had the stylist ship it off to Locks of Love. Big mistake...made the bloated tick look I had going on even more apparent. Plus...the hairstylist I went to totally SUCKED so the cut was just awful. (I won't even get into the time a hairdresser gave me a fucking Winona Ryder in BeetleJuice hair cut...that one made me actually cry in her chair before I even left the salon! How's that for an indicator of whether or not your client liked the haircut you just gave them? Open sobbing...nice work!)
My hair has always been some sort of indicator of my current life style...I've had just about every style under the sun...straight, spiked, curly asymmetrical, bangs, no bangs, shaved, long, light, dark, and every color in between...and now that I am 39, and going through another unexpected event...well...at least I have remained consistent...I colored my hair the other evening...
What sort of prompted the change was when I was watching a pod on Currentv the other night, and I saw a shot of all these young Japanese trend-mongers milling about in Shibuya, and realized that I had achieved the same "I'm Asian and I have orange hair" look that many of them had...especially the men...Yuck, no thanks...don't want to blend in...happy in my individuality, thank you very much. So off to the store I went to pick up a nice, Angelina Jolie brown to cover up all the fried, frizzle blonde stuff running down my back like a horse's tail.
Back at the house with two boxes of Feria's "Havana Brown" and I'm ready to go...Now, I have been dying my hair for decades, no problem, but let me tell you...It was a total clusterF in the bathroom that night! There was brown blotch and splotch ALL OVER the place. It looked like an OoMpa LoOmpa came in and exploded all over the place in a massive chocolate attack. It got to the point where I was getting dizzy from the fumes, and to top it off...for the FIRST TIME EVER, I managed to get the shit in my eye! What the heck???? Burnt like acid, and had to rip off the gloves to stop all the mess I was making to save my eyesight and unglue my brown stained contact lens out of my left eyeball. ....sigh...
The next day I woke up, looked in the mirror, and to my surprise...I kinda liked how it came out! A bit redder than I had hoped, but eh, I could go darker the next time 'round, no?...NO. No such luck...later that day I happened to grab a mirror to look at the back side of my head, and realized that I had missed an entire square section of hair smack dab in the middle of my horse's tail...It was this blonde-ish, greenish patch of hair that was so obviously missed. All I could think was "...shiiiiiit". I can't let this go unfixed!
Back to the store...a different store mind you, because it's all I had time allotted for before my dentist appointment, and my babysitter time ran out...Grabbed a box of Garnier Medium Brown, came home, and got busy. I was very, very, very careful this time, and completely saturated my hair this time. Well, ladies and gents, it worked, and I didn't burn my eye, and it is a nice shade of brown...and from now on y'all can just call me Astinkelina Jolie...I told Cstink that I'm going to start adopting children from around the world, and she said I should do the reverse and start collecting kids from developed countries...hehehe..."And, this is Lars, and Sven, and Gunther, and Johan..." HEY! There are underpriveledged kids in Switzerland and Sweden too, ya know! Sheesh! hahaha...
Okay, that's all I got for you stinkers...the laptop's getting hot on my legs and I gots to wake up early tomorrow to get to Pilates on time before all the reformers get taken! (CStink...See you there!) Peace!
posted by AStinkmum at 10:11 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home