GNO MORE GNATS!

CStink, your post "Cerebral Barf" was SO great! I laughed out loud at your line, "The person in charge of securing donations for the school is such a manipulative, diabolical brown-noser. " Oh no you dit-ent! Oh, and on the whole hippie thing? Right there with you on that one...The Grateful Dead?...Um...not so much. Sorry to all you spinners out there...they just don't do it for me. Never have, never will. Not knocking them, just not in love with them, is all I'm saying! (Spinners referring to the way Dead Heads dance...spinning around in endless circles, in a whirl of tye die and indian print skirts...)

Getting back to Cerebral Barf, thanks for the props, CStink. I must tell you, there's nothing like being a pandering charity whore to boost your feelings of accomplishment in an otherwise unfulfilling day-to-day existence. All I have to do is start my 'donation' shpeal and I'm already watching people's eyes glaze over and beginning to dismiss me...they're already walking away from me before I've even finished my first sentence. Yeah..this is that "getting kicked in your teeth everyday" feeling that Mr. BigStink faces working in outdoor sales. But, my asshole-ish, ignorant, bullish ways makes me forge on and get a bit indignant at their rudeness, so I somehow end up luring them back with my 'kill them with kindness' demeanor. (read: grit your teeth smile with seething rage oozing out of my ears, but nonetheless sweet sounding, grand, sweeping grateful overtones...) And, somehow, I've managed to gather a few things up for the event! My most effective way thus far is to call up and ask who the contact person is, then drop off a letter and say I will call back for an answer. Very effective and cuts down on the flustered stumbling of my words...

Meanwhile, on another note...CStink and I were at school yesterday morning yucking it up in our raucous ways with a good laugh or two after drop off; I was sitting in my Disco, and she was standing outside my window on the driveway (wearing a kickass black fitted nehru collared, sporty zip up rubberized looking jacket that I was totally coveting, btw). While we were talking, there were these little f'ing annoying black gnats swarming us like locust plague and we had to wave our hands around our heads in this maniacal voodoo, arm sweeping manner to shoo them away. From a distance, we must have looked crazy, the two of us talking, laughing and swatting madly at eachother and ourselves for no apparent reason! Anyway...we came to the realization that since we had both been traitors to the Stink and recently showered, that the bugs were attracted to us from the scent of soap. Of course, this could only lead me to the StinkWayOfLife-upholding-conclusion that, Washing on a daily basis does NOT, indeed, always pay off. So those of you headed toward the shower right now, just back away from the bathtub...put the towel down...and think twice before you step in. GNATS! GNATS!